[Such an old one, and one that for obvious reasons received mixed reactions.  I think I like it for all the reasons people don’t.]

I could be controversial
Slaughter innocents for my art
Have sex with men, women and children
Wield a knife with slow, deliberate pressure and splice my penis into a serpent’s fork
Bleed all over the table where they keep your baby pictures

but I really just want to be likeable
maybe have my picture taken
wear sunglasses with hundred dollar frames
have shoes custom made for my feet
and see my love life dissected for millions to watch

Then you would turn on your TV
There I’d be
Then you would open a magazine
There I’d be
Then you would see a billboard
There I’d be
Then you would eat at a restaurant
There I’d be
Then you would roll over in bed
There I’d be

I admit it
I think you’re so shallow you’d love me only if I was famous
That’s why I had my teeth whitened
and hired a TV crew to follow me around all day
That’s why I stopped saying ‘Fuck’ and ‘Cunt’ and ‘Jesus Christ’
That’s why I ditched all my Indian and short friends
for pretty white girls and a token black guy
I admit it
You rejected me once
that’s why I sold out