Search Terms


Thanks to a healthy bit of publicity, October was the second busiest month for my blog (the busiest month was due to a certain Scientology-related skirmish that drew out a horde of Atheists).

One of the niftier aspects of WordPress is that it allows me to see what words and phrases people are searching for when they are directed to my blog.  The phrase “10 cities 10 years” is seventh on the all-time list of most searched terms, which tells me that a great deal of my visitors lately have been searching specifically for this blog.  That’s good to know, it tells me the publicity is working.

But most search terms have little to do with my blog specifically.

“Ground zero” is the numero uno search term, thanks to this short story, which is certainly not what people were looking for when they went searching.  This is followed behind by such cultural icons as Beyonce and Daniel Tosh (or, more specifically, Daniel Tosh’s Girlfriend).  What can I say, I’ve got my finger on the pulse of youth culture.

What’s more interesting to me are the bizarre search terms that bring people to my page for reasons that aren’t immediately clear.  Most of the top 50 or so are variations on the top 10, so I have to go down a ways before I really start to hit idiosyncratic pay dirt.

“Jesus humor” is a personal favorite, not only because of what it implies about my blog, but because it has been searched for 30 separate times.

But there are so many more great/bizarre search terms.  Here are 10 of my favorite inexplicable search terms (bad language ahead; you’ve been warned):

1. ‘a pic of a person who has to use the bathroom in a cartoon’ – Why?  What?  How?  So many questions are raised by this search term, but all I can really wonder is if this intrepid searcher left my blog satisfied.

2. ‘boobs bar’ – I’d imagine this would be a very popular bar.

3.  ‘معني كلمهgtfo’ – What?  Just, what?

4. ‘healthy sexuality comic strip’ & ‘comic strips about healthy sexuality’ – I’m not sure what this comic strip would look like, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be very funny.

5.  ‘Whiskey shits’ – I know why this leads to my blog, I just love that people are typing this term into their search engines.  It gives me hope.

6. ‘bird mustache’Again, I am aware of what this is referring to, but such an odd phrase to type.

7. ‘rule 34 cancer’ – If you don’t know what Rule 34 is, good for you.  Don’t google it.  But if you do know what it means, can you please explain to me why anyone would want to search for it in relation to cancer?  What would that even look like?  I’m almost tempted to search for it myself, just to see.  Almost.

8. ‘carl motherfucking sagan’ – Yes, yes, yes.

9. ‘i will fucking punch you in the face’ – So much anger.  Someone searched this term 3 times in one day.  I hope they got laid soon after.

10.  ’10 years fuck’  – This one is disturbing because I’m not sure exactly what it’s supposed to mean, or maybe because I think I do know what it means and I don’t like it.  I will say this, though, ‘fuck’ is a pretty common word in my search terms.  I can’t imagine why.

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Well, here’s to more successful years of blogging and hopefully even more bizarre search terms.

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