Nothing’s Gonna Change My World
So This Is The New Year, And I Don’t Feel Any Different
We’re through the looking glass here, people. 2012. Forget those rapture nutjobs and hypochondriacs, this is really the year that the world finally, horrifically comes to a screeching halt (or a halting screech; I forget).
The Mayans predicted it. They didn’t predict their own imminent demise, but they nailed the end of the world. And to be fair, nobody expects the Spanish conquistadors.
If there is one industry the recession could never dampen, it’s the Predicting the End of the World industry. Quite the opposite, actually, as bad economic turns are the ideal time for wackadoos and doomsayers to find an audience. “Father Coughlin” came to prominence during the 1930s Great Depression, and while he wasn’t the first firebrand preacher to gain notoriety, I think he can be seen as the precursor of both the bigoted televangelists like Pat Robertson and the fearmongering political extremists such as Glenn Beck.
What all of these people have in common, other than a serious lack of medications, is the commanded attention of millions of listeners and an unhealthy obsession with a looming apocalypse (with or without God).
The One Thing Conservatives and Progressives Can Agree On
From a purely subjective viewpoint, it seems to be that ‘End of the World Hysteria’ is more commonly found in those of the conservative persuasion, whether politically, religiously, socially or financially.
There is an abundance of reasons why this would be the case. Conservatives tend to be religious, and pretty much all religions (certainly the Western ones) are steeped in apocalyptic imagery and prophecies. Also, conservatism by its very name indicates a desire to maintain the status quo, to ‘conserve’ what we have (in contrast to ‘progressivism’). In this way, as change is inevitable and the world is on a constant forward march away from the past, conservatives are right in predicting the end of the world. Their world is always ending, dying daily a thousand deaths.
But End of the World Hysteria is not limited to conservatives. Progressives have their own End Times Scenarios.* Their version of the end usually involves the ills thrust upon us by modern science, like the fear of nuclear proliferation or a catastrophic climate change brought about by man-made technology. It’s not so much that progressives fear science (that’s more a conservative persuasion), it’s just that they think it teeters towards going too far.
Each of these End Times Scenarios share a lofty distinction: They’ve never been right. We’ve seen a thousand Great Rapture dates come and go and the only thing of note that has occurred is great disappointment and the creation of the Seventh-Day Adventists.
On the opposite spectrum, we’ve been hearing about the evils of science for hundreds of years, though it’s only been since the mid-20th century that we actually began fearing that it could legitimately wipe us all out, h-bomb style. The Cold War lasted roughly 45 years, and in that time, the world didn’t end, not even once. Children were hiding under their desks for nothing.
But of course, if nuclear winter doesn’t get us, global summer surely will (that’s an allusion to Global Warming for you in the cheap seats).
It Could Happen
I can hear indignant parties retorting, “Just because it hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean it won’t.”
And they’re right. The Past isn’t a sufficient predictor of the Future (why do I feel like I’ve said this recently?). But, it’s a pretty strong one. It’s one thing for the boy to cry ‘wolf’ three or four times. It’s another for him to do it once a day, every day since the beginning of time. Rational minds start to get skeptical.
The world isn’t going to end. It just isn’t. The world could end. We could get blown up by a nuclear bomb. And Jesus could come back (because, you know, God could exist). But it won’t, we won’t, and he won’t (and he doesn’t).
If you want some predictions for 2012 that are going to come true, I’ve got a few sure bets:
Jesus will not return.
The Four Horsemen will not come riding.
The end of the Mayan calendar will not mark the end of our world.
The global financial system will not collapse, returning us to a gold-based economy and leading to riots in the streets.
Our technology will not have a massive meltdown, returning us to the dark ages.
The inevitable legalization of gay marriage will not lead to the legalization of bestiality and child molestation, thus leading us down the path towards complete moral anarchy and cultural destruction.
The oceans will not rise up and cover all land masses.
Overpopulation will not lead to worldwide starvation and cannibalism.
The United States will not turn into a theocracy. Nor will it become a fascist state.
The Large Hardon Collider will not cause a black hole that will destroy our solar system or universe.
The world will not end.
These are all statements I can make about the year 2012 without equivocation. When 2013 comes rolling around, I will be right on all of the above statements. I bet everything I own – and ever possibly will own – on it.
(Granted, if I’m wrong, in most scenarios there won’t be anyone to collect on it, but still. I won’t be wrong.)
You probably roll your eyes at most of these hypothetical End of the World Scenarios, but I’m guessing there are one or two on this list that you genuinely think might happen. I’m frequently labeled a pessimist, yet I’m one of very few people who doesn’t fear any End of the World Scenarios. Maybe it’s all that Star Trek I watched growing up, but I look to the future and see possibilities, never doomsday.
Apathy In Action
And, hey, I get it. All this apocalyptic fear might be just what we need to get people to deal with very real problems. After all, severe climate change could lead to the extinction of the human species if left unchecked. If the Green Movement succeeds, bystanders will unfairly dismiss them as reactionaries when in fact it will have been their efforts that averted disaster. (I’m more worried by the religious fanatics who want the world to end because it will validate their faith.)
But I don’t think engaging in End of the World Hysteria is the way to make a change, and I don’t think it’s converting people. In truth, most of the changes would benefit us as a society regardless of climate change, and that should be the focus of the message. Maybe I’m out of touch, but I believe it’s more convincing to explain the positive reasons for an action rather than focusing on the negative outcomes of inaction.
It seems it’s not enough that the world would be better off it we take action, we have to say that the world will end if we don’t. But instead of making us less apathetic, these dire warnings make us more so because we’ve heard the cry of ‘wolf’ so many times, we can’t be bothered to care. It’s time to make the world better because ‘better’ is its own reward.
We need leaders to remember how to speak to our optimism instead of preying on our pessimism.
New Years Resolution
If you need a resolution for the new year, how about you resolve to live not like the world is going to end tomorrow, but rather, like the world is going to be here for at least another two millennia. Spend the year ignoring the doomsayers and prophets of apocalypse and seeking out the wisdom of optimists and visionaries. It might just become a habit.
I’m not suggesting we should ignore the very real problems that exist in this world. Realizing that the world will still be here tomorrow means striving to make it a world worth living in, for everyone. But, this year, when the man comes on the television to tell you that the world will end, turn it off. Don’t debate the doomsday prophets, don’t allow them any credence by taking them seriously. When they are proven wrong, you’ll know they’re a false prophet. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
The world isn’t ending. That’s the reason to celebrate the new year.
*There are certainly liberal religious people who fear the Biblical apocalypse, just as there are conservative religious people who don’t believe in the Rapture (but might fear nuclear war instead). For brevity’s sake, I’m ignoring these outliers.