Welcome to the great new game to play with all your white friends:
Which Region of the U.S. is Most Racist?
Which Region of the U.S. is Most Racist? can be played with as few as two (2) players, but it makes a great party game and there’s even an online version that can be played in the comments section of any article about a non-white celebrity or politician.
The rules are simple!
The first player picks any Region in America that isn’t ‘The South’ and states I Do Declare: “[Said Region] is more racist than The South.” Ex. “The Northeast is more racist than The South.”
Once the declaration has been made, that player must then supply one Intolerance Anecdote that illustrates the overwhelming racial prejudice of said Region. More points are awarded to stories that are specific and invoke “a black friend.”
Now the second player has two choices: They can counter with a Southern Gentleman, an example of more egregious racial prejudice from The South, or they can Up the Antebellum by picking a brand new Region and stating I Do Declare: “[New Region] is even more racist than [Previous Player’s Region].
Ex. “The Midwest is even more racist than The Northeast.”
The round continues until all players have had their say. Then the first player has a choice to either provide another Intolerance Anecdote or they can choose to invoke Brotherhood and ratify another player’s declaration of racial prejudice. If this occurs, both players must provide Intolerance Anecdotes in defense of [Said Region]’s prejudicial dominance.
(In case of only two players, this officially ends the game. This ending is incredibly rare.)
The game ends when the players have gotten sick of each other and themselves. The winner is the player who maintains the least Cognitive Dissonance while proclaiming entire regions of the country ‘racist’ without a sense of irony. They are deemed the Carpetbagger and awarded hours of smug self-satisfaction.
Happy Gaming and Good luck!
*Warning: “Which Region of the U.S. is Most Racist?” is not recommended for children under 13 or for groups of mixed ethnicity.