We are our history.

Too complex for words, we are every casual and causal link that has built to this moment, from Adam’s dust to the steel and rubber that transports us into one another’s lives and pulls us apart.

World Knowledge (BW)

All of human history at our fingertips and we’re stuck on the last page, reading over and over again as madmen and mad women tear it all down, to start over again or to rebuild, but not to make a better world for our children; for we are childless, and we are children.

I could cant plaintive aspirations for the future and the utopian landscapes of post-crisis self-realization, cry that you are an end in and of itself, the omega. But you don’t listen, and I’m not speaking; somehow, the silence gets filled up all the same.

London on the Thames (from Tate)

We are our shared perspective, from where we see the world and agree, that yes, from up here, it does look to be burning. Or perhaps it’s just the stifling, unifying cigarette plumes of eight billion cave dwellers who have agreed that the world has little time left, so why not just light one up and wait it out. If the world doesn’t end, well, we will anyway.

PA091787 (BW)We will always have our history.

Preserved in museums and memories that come back to us when the night’s libations have let us down, our history is the story of a species gradually, painfully, resiliently gaining consciousness and then, upon achieving this feat of evolution, imbibing every painkiller until we are no longer conscious.

We are our ancestors.

They cower, afraid to look up.

I tried to be a stone wall in the nuclear holocaust predicted by you, but every shadow that burned into me was just another reminder of all the ways that I am, too, human, too human, and made of skin that ripples and stains like a leaf of paper. On it, written the words you have already acknowledged as the pleas of a coward. I am shaken.

PA101798 (BW)

Totems (BW)Rosetta Stone (BW)I’m stuck between wanting to tell you that you are a towering example of strength and a sharpened shard of beauty, but I know the words only get lost from my mouth to your ears; impossible to cross the divide that separates us now that you have heard it all.

I talk about history.

You talk about dying.

We both get it.

I don’t get what I’m doing here, each passing moment stretching out to eternity and then it’s tomorrow and nothing has changed; I’m still failing at everything I try to do. I could see the whole world from down here; I don’t, though.

British Museum Ceiling (BW)

Cricklewood (BW)*

I was sitting in your living room when I received the note; a sky so full of clouds that I thought it must be night. It was the end of a day.

Another history brought short.

Another shadow on my wall.

History is what we label that which we cannot change; this is another part of our history, even if it isn’t ours.

I go on. You go on. She go on. We go on.

And then you’re gone and I go alone.

It used to be that if “love” were spoke with enough hope, with all the power of Hannibal’s elephants and all the radiance of Chernobyl and all the precision of Oswald’s bullet, any broken heart could be mended, no matter how many times it had been shattered.

That is now a part of history, too.

Head of State (BW)

So what?

So what if there’s nothing to be done? So what if our history is a collection of stolen artifacts and carefully curated facts to placate our brittle consciences? If our time is short, why shouldn’t our memories be, also?

PA091779 (BW)

I want this to be all okay; you, me, her/him, all with the collective sigh of our history.

PA101808 (BW)It isn’t, though.

It is rotten, I know.

It isn’t true.

It only trickles through.

We are guilty

of faux civility

weak and shallow

nothing more than a show.

This is our legacy.

This is our destiny.

This is our history.

I don’t control what I’m saying. I think in couplets when I’m away from you and you are acting as though nothing has changed. Everything’s changed. You dismissed my lips, unkissed.

Deceased (BW)

We have history.


You have history. It’s not easy to forget, it’s not easy to forgive, and when the cruel gray crows scatter your smile across a desolate field, it’s not easy to let go.

I am not a historian, I cannot be that detached.

Theatre Row (BW)Nor am I merely a supplicating audience member, waiting to applaud, steady with my tears, happy to concede defeat to the playwright. I write, too, and I don’t care if they are Shakespeare’s Histories, I make up my own endings.

You will loathe this, every word.

You will loathe me, too, and find my incessant presence to be a bother. This is already of history.

Yet, here I am, in attendance.

I bought the ticket, I took my seat, I put the world on silence for you.

So sing your song, recite your monologue, hit your mark, and kill the critics in the crowd who will insist that you’re not right for the part. The part is right for you.

I should’ve said that.

I didn’t say anything. You wept like Ophelia’s willow, threatening to drown all of Europe, but it only rains in London these days; the skies are gray, sure, but also close enough to touch. We didn’t touch. We stayed dry, we stayed indoors.

Underground (BW)

And then, that was it.

I’ve returned to this place I’m calling home now.

See the world, learn its histories, trace the rivers diverted by time and escape to the cities built on bones. Every street, every window, all of the tastes and smells, they lambast us with the history we think is behind us. Paint the walls, if you must, climb the scaffolding; it will all be history soon enough. History always wins.

PA091768 (BW)

We are history.

Queen (BW)

2012: The Year The World (Doesn’t) End

Alternate titles:

Nothing’s Gonna Change My World


So This Is The New Year, And I Don’t Feel Any Different

We’re through the looking glass here, people.  2012.  Forget those rapture nutjobs and hypochondriacs, this is really the year that the world finally, horrifically comes to a screeching halt (or a halting screech; I forget).

The Mayans predicted it.  They didn’t predict their own imminent demise, but they nailed the end of the world.  And to be fair, nobody expects the Spanish conquistadors.

If there is one industry the recession could never dampen, it’s the Predicting the End of the World industry.  Quite the opposite, actually, as bad economic turns are the ideal time for wackadoos and doomsayers to find an audience.  “Father Coughlin” came to prominence during the 1930s Great Depression, and while he wasn’t the first firebrand preacher to gain notoriety, I think he can be seen as the precursor of both the bigoted televangelists like Pat Robertson and the fearmongering political extremists such as Glenn Beck.

What all of these people have in common, other than a serious lack of medications, is the commanded attention of millions of listeners and an unhealthy obsession with a looming apocalypse (with or without God).

The One Thing Conservatives and Progressives Can Agree On

From a purely subjective viewpoint, it seems to be that ‘End of the World Hysteria’ is more commonly found in those of the conservative persuasion, whether politically, religiously, socially or financially.

There is an abundance of reasons why this would be the case.  Conservatives tend to be religious, and pretty much all religions (certainly the Western ones) are steeped in apocalyptic imagery and prophecies.  Also, conservatism by its very name indicates a desire to maintain the status quo, to ‘conserve’ what we have (in contrast to ‘progressivism’).  In this way, as change is inevitable and the world is on a constant forward march away from the past, conservatives are right in predicting the end of the world.  Their world is always ending, dying daily a thousand deaths.

But End of the World Hysteria is not limited to conservatives.  Progressives have their own End Times Scenarios.*  Their version of the end usually involves the ills thrust upon us by modern science, like the fear of nuclear proliferation or a catastrophic climate change brought about by man-made technology.  It’s not so much that progressives fear science (that’s more a conservative persuasion), it’s just that they think it teeters towards going too far.

Each of these End Times Scenarios share a lofty distinction:  They’ve never been right.  We’ve seen a thousand Great Rapture dates come and go and the only thing of note that has occurred is great disappointment and the creation of the Seventh-Day Adventists.

On the opposite spectrum, we’ve been hearing about the evils of science for hundreds of years, though it’s only been since the mid-20th century that we actually began fearing that it could legitimately wipe us all out, h-bomb style.  The Cold War lasted roughly 45 years, and in that time, the world didn’t end, not even once.  Children were hiding under their desks for nothing.

But of course, if nuclear winter doesn’t get us, global summer surely will (that’s an allusion to Global Warming for you in the cheap seats).

It Could Happen

I can hear indignant parties retorting, “Just because it hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean it won’t.”

And they’re right.  The Past isn’t a sufficient predictor of the Future (why do I feel like I’ve said this recently?).  But, it’s a pretty strong one.  It’s one thing for the boy to cry ‘wolf’ three or four times.  It’s another for him to do it once a day, every day since the beginning of time.  Rational minds start to get skeptical.

The world isn’t going to end.  It just isn’t.  The world could end.  We could get blown up by a nuclear bomb.  And Jesus could come back (because, you know, God could exist).  But it won’t, we won’t, and he won’t (and he doesn’t). 

If you want some predictions for 2012 that are going to come true, I’ve got a few sure bets:

Jesus will not return.
The Four Horsemen will not come riding.
The end of the Mayan calendar will not mark the end of our world.
The global financial system will not collapse, returning us to a gold-based economy and leading to riots in the streets.
Our technology will not have a massive meltdown, returning us to the dark ages.
The inevitable legalization of gay marriage will not lead to the legalization of bestiality and child molestation, thus leading us down the path towards complete moral anarchy and cultural destruction.
The oceans will not rise up and cover all land masses.
Overpopulation will not lead to worldwide starvation and cannibalism.
The United States will not turn into a theocracy.  Nor will it become a fascist state.
The Large Hardon Collider will not cause a black hole that will destroy our solar system or universe.
The world will not end.

These are all statements I can make about the year 2012 without equivocation.  When 2013 comes rolling around, I will be right on all of the above statements.  I bet everything I own – and ever possibly will own – on it.

(Granted, if I’m wrong, in  most scenarios there won’t be anyone to collect on it, but still.  I won’t be wrong.)

You probably roll your eyes at most of these hypothetical End of the World Scenarios, but I’m guessing there are one or two on this list that you genuinely think might happen.  I’m frequently labeled a pessimist, yet I’m one of very few people who doesn’t fear any End of the World Scenarios.  Maybe it’s all that Star Trek I watched growing up, but I look to the future and see possibilities, never doomsday.

Apathy In Action

And, hey, I get it.  All this apocalyptic fear might be just what we need to get people to deal with very real problems.  After all, severe climate change could lead to the extinction of the human species if left unchecked.  If the Green Movement succeeds, bystanders will unfairly dismiss them as reactionaries when in fact it will have been their efforts that averted disaster.  (I’m more worried by the religious fanatics who want the world to end because it will validate their faith.)

But I don’t think engaging in End of the World Hysteria is the way to make a change, and I don’t think it’s converting people.  In truth, most of the changes would benefit us as a society regardless of climate change, and that should be the focus of the message.  Maybe I’m out of touch, but I believe it’s more convincing to explain the positive reasons for an action rather than focusing on the negative outcomes of inaction.

It seems it’s not enough that the world would be better off it we take action, we have to say that the world will end if we don’t.  But instead of making us less apathetic, these dire warnings make us more so because we’ve heard the cry of ‘wolf’ so many times, we can’t be bothered to care.  It’s time to make the world better because ‘better’ is its own reward.

We need leaders to remember how to speak to our optimism instead of preying on our pessimism.

New Years Resolution

If you need a resolution for the new year, how about you resolve to live not like the world is going to end tomorrow, but rather, like the world is going to be here for at least another two millennia.  Spend the year ignoring the doomsayers and prophets of apocalypse and seeking out the wisdom of optimists and visionaries. It might just become a habit.

I’m not suggesting we should ignore the very real problems that exist in this world.  Realizing that the world will still be here tomorrow means striving to make it a world worth living in, for everyone.  But, this year, when the man comes on the television to tell you that the world will end, turn it off.  Don’t debate the doomsday prophets, don’t allow them any credence by taking them seriously.  When they are proven wrong, you’ll know they’re a false prophet.  Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

The world isn’t ending.  That’s the reason to celebrate the new year.

*There are certainly liberal religious people who fear the Biblical apocalypse, just as there are conservative religious people who don’t believe in the Rapture (but might fear nuclear war instead).  For brevity’s sake, I’m ignoring these outliers.