BARchetypes: The One Who’s Gonna Die Here

It's been some time since I wrote 1 of these, but seeing as I'm in my last month, I figured I'd bring back this feature for an appropriate send off. Bar regulars are a varied lot. There are the assholes and the loners, but somewhere in between sits the patron saint of all drunks: The … Continue reading BARchetypes: The One Who’s Gonna Die Here

BARchetypes: The Alcoholic Writer

Any bar worth its salt has a writer-in-residence.  Not necessarily a talented writer, not necessarily a popular writer.  Just a guy who puts words to paper (or screen; writing on the page is sexier, though).  He's at the bar for the liquor.  He might tell himself he's there for a change of scenery, or for … Continue reading BARchetypes: The Alcoholic Writer

BARchetypes: The guy without a clue

Where Should I Move Next? Perhaps you know this scene: Stunning girl, long hair, sharp features, small figure, taut breasts, a glaze of early-20-something disinterest over her eyes. A guy.  Doesn't matter what he looks like or what he's got, doesn't matter if he's Brad Pitt or Paul Giamatti, Mark Zuckerberg or Ghandi; he's just … Continue reading BARchetypes: The guy without a clue

BARchetypes: That guy who remembers me

I'm bad with names.  I'm also bad with faces.  And places. Chances are, if I haven't seen you in the last 15 minutes, I'm not going to remember you.  5 if I've been drinking. This puts me at a considerable disadvantage when I'm in a bar, because there's always bound to be That Guy, Who … Continue reading BARchetypes: That guy who remembers me

BARchetypes: Fighty McFights-A-Lot

If you spend much time in bars (and why wouldn't you?), you've likely seen one of the great traditions of the drinking scene:  The Bar Fight. You might not have been directly involved, maybe never even saw a punch thrown, but you've likely witnessed the testosterone display known as The Raging of the Drunks (or … Continue reading BARchetypes: Fighty McFights-A-Lot

BARchetypes: Pabst Drunk

There are many reasons to go see a band live in concert.  To share in a raucous, communal experience.  To hear your favorite music in a new setting.  To bang the skinny chick with the star tattoos on her wrists.  All valid reasons. One reason probably not high on your list:  To have the lyrics … Continue reading BARchetypes: Pabst Drunk